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Author Alan Roger Currie

Women (and even Teenage Girls) Need to WAKE UP and Quit Being Naïve and Delusional

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 21 juin 2016

Achat vérifié

I began reading the Kindle eBook version of Peggy Orenstein's latest book, Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape , with a desire to maintain an open and objective mindset. Well, unfortunately, that objective faded away very quick.

In Orenstein's opening chapter, she discusses an alleged "double-standard." She says that if a teenage boy is sexually active, he is labeled a 'player,' but if a teenage girl is sexually active, she is labeled a 'slut.' WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? As men, we can't help it if the vast majority of women find men who are promiscuous and/or polyamorous to be more sexually appealing than a man who is sexually inexperienced. Women, as a group, could CHOOSE to be "turned off" by men who are sexually active, but the reality is, they are not. And actually, most men are not turned off by women who are 'sluts' as it relates to engaging in some form of short-term and/or non-monogamous 'casual' sex. Women who are perceived as sluts are only unappealing to those men who seek to date and/or marry a prudish (or at least, semi-prudish) and monogamy-oriented 'good girl' type. What is wrong with that? Men have the right to choose who they want to be in a long-term committed relationship with versus who they want to engage in a one-night stand or weekend fling with.

Then, Orenstein's book treats the label of 'virgin' and 'prude' as if it is a "bad" thing. Really? Are you joking? My late mother's nickname in college in the 1950s was "The Elegant Prude." Many women in my mother's generation remained a virgin until they were married, and they were PROUD OF IT. If boys and girls today choose to attach negative connotations to the labels of 'virgin' and 'prude,' SO WHAT. Why do women care so damn much what other people think?!?

This is the difference between many boys and girls. I have had women call me a "man-whore" or a "male slut" (as opposed to a 'womanizer' or 'player'), and you know what? I was FLATTERED instead of INSULTED by those labels. As Stephen R. Covey discusses in his popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (25th Anniversary Edition) , it is not how people treat you or how they label you that matters . . . but rather, it is HOW -YOU- REACT and RESPOND to how people treat you and how people label you that matters. If boys refer to girls as 'hos' and 'sluts,' SO WHAT. If boys refer to girls as a 'virgins' or 'prudes,' SO WHAT. You cannot go through life worrying about what OTHER PEOPLE are going to say about you behind your back and/or to-your-face. Remember this adage: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but WORDS will never hurt me or destroy me."

And why does any teenage girl want to be known as a "boss bitch?" WTF? Many women are walking, talking contradictions. Many of them say that they don't want to be 'objectified,' but then they turn around and objectify THEMSELVES. Here's a dose of reality that I offer in my own book, The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today's Society : Very few men (and teenage boys) want to socially interact with girls / women in a purely platonic manner for a long period of time. PERIOD. This is where many girls and young women are naïve and delusional. If teenage boys and young men cannot physically make out with a female, and even more so, they cannot gain the opportunity to engage in intercourse or receive a handjob or a blowjob from a female, they generally do not want anything to do with them. Many of these boys and young men are not going to admit that PUBLICLY, but trust me ... it is the truth.

I could go on and on about this book, but here would be my bottom line:

If you are girl between 12 years old and 17 years old or a woman who is 18 years of age or older, and you choose to be sexually active with multiple boys / men who do not have the title of 'long-term boyfriend,' then be prepared to be labeled a 'slut' or a 'ho.' Don't whine about it or cry about it. That is just how life is. Many people are always going to attach a highly subjective label to just about any form of behavior that you exhibit that they disagree with or don't care for. DEAL WITH IT and move on.

If you are a teenage girl or young adult woman who chooses sexual abstinence and premarital celibacy, DON'T BE ASHAMED OF THAT CHOICE. BE PROUD.

And probably most importantly, do not become known as a sexually flirtatious "tease" with teenage boys and young adult men. This places women in COMPROMISING POSITIONS that could potentially lead to a date-rape or sexual assault situation. When you exhibit the behavior of a sexually flirtatious 'tease' with guys, think of yourself as a "match" ... and the boys / young men as "a container of gasoline." EXPLOSIVE.

Because many of these teenage boys and young men today tend to operate with the assumption that the vast majority of girls and young women in today's society are extremely kinky, sexually insatiable, and promiscuous, their more sexually aggressive tendencies tend to reveal themselves. If you are not interested in engaging in sex with a boy / young man, please communicate that to them in an upfront, straight-to-the-point manner before you even think about kissing them or making out with them.

Boys will be boys. Keep this in mind. They will never, ever treat all teenage girls or young women the same. Males will always place females into two general categories: The girls / women who they just want to engage in one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous sex with, and the girls / women who they want as their long-term girlfriend, fiancée, or future wife.

A few lucky women might find themselves in both categories. Most will not.

Orenstein presents quite a few valid points in her book, but most men who read this book are going to find themselves having a number of (valid) criticisms of her content.

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Ed Boyle

There are better books out there

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 19 janvier 2017

Achat vérifié

I was looking for a book about millennials, the world through their eyes, what was different from when I was very young, what motivated them, conflicts they had to deal with, etc. While the title doesn’t say that this was the book I wanted and internet search coupled with some of the comments and reviews did and the price was right so I bought it. I was wrong.

According to this book all young boys are pigs only interested in sex and young girls are highly submissive with little self will or esteem. It could almost be a copy of what has been written about the young 1,000 times before. If you are interested because of the title, have fun but there are no pictures and I seriously doubt the vast majority of high school and college girls fit the profile.

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Amazon Customer

I gave this book 2 star cause at least it ...

Commenté au Canada 🇨🇦 le 17 janvier 2018

Achat vérifié

I gave this book 2 star cause at least it identifies some themes and trends to be aware of or knowledgeable about. Otherwise the book is full of fear mongering. I work with and know a lot of teenage girls and this book is not reflective of their strong individual voices, their self esteem, their reasoning and determination.

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not for those looking for help

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 5 octobre 2016

Achat vérifié

While this book is very informative it is very lop sided. Peggy expresses a very narrow view of what girls go thru and offers very little to no help as how to deal with the new landscape that she envisions. Not a book that I would recommend for someone looking for genuine help.

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Mindy McMahon

There is too much research cited that a parent might ...

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 14 mai 2016

Achat vérifié

There is too much research cited that a parent might find readable but not my daughter who I bought the book for. Not sure it promotes safe sex, safety and consideration of both persons as I thought it was promoted to do.

3 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Cash Fan

but otherwise a pretty dull read

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 24 mai 2016

Achat vérifié

Some interesting points, but otherwise a pretty dull read...

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brenda sims

Two Stars

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 1 août 2016

Achat vérifié

Did not meet my expectations.

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