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Real American: A Memoir Relié – 3 octobre 2017
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"Courageous, achingly honest."
--Michelle Alexander, New York Times bestselling author of The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness
"A compelling, incisive and thoughtful examination of race, origin and what it means to be called an American. Engaging, heartfelt and beautifully written, Lythcott-Haims explores the American spectrum of identity with refreshing courage and compassion."
--Bryan Stevenson, New York Times bestselling author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption
A fearless memoir in which beloved and bestselling How to Raise an Adult author Julie Lythcott-Haims pulls no punches in her recollections of growing up a black woman in America.
Bringing a poetic sensibility to her prose to stunning effect, Lythcott-Haims briskly and stirringly evokes her personal battle with the low self-esteem that American racism routinely inflicts on people of color. The only child of a marriage between an African-American father and a white British mother, she shows indelibly how so-called "micro" aggressions in addition to blunt force insults can puncture a person's inner life with a thousand sharp cuts. Real American expresses also, through Lythcott-Haims's path to self-acceptance, the healing power of community in overcoming the hurtful isolation of being incessantly considered "the other."
The author of the New York Times bestselling anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult, Lythcott-Haims has written a different sort of book this time out, but one that will nevertheless resonate with the legions of students, educators and parents to whom she is now well known, by whom she is beloved, and to whom she has always provided wise and necessary counsel about how to embrace and nurture their best selves. Real American is an affecting memoir, an unforgettable cri de coeur, and a clarion call to all of us to live more wisely, generously and fully.
- Nombre de pages de l'édition imprimée288 pages
- LangueAnglais
- ÉditeurHenry Holt & Company
- Date de publication3 octobre 2017
- Dimensions16.43 x 2.5 x 21.72 cm
- ISBN-101250137748
- ISBN-13978-1250137746
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Détails sur le produit
- Éditeur : Henry Holt & Company (3 octobre 2017)
- Langue : Anglais
- Relié : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1250137748
- ISBN-13 : 978-1250137746
- Poids de l'article : 476 g
- Dimensions : 16.43 x 2.5 x 21.72 cm
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I typically hate memoirs by "non- famous" ( or even most "famous") people, because in the back of my mind I'm always asking, "well, what makes you so special?". However, this author's bravery and honesty are what make her special. She sheds light/insight on questions I have always wondered about people like her (bi-racial with a socio - economically privileged and predominantly white upbringing). But, if I'm being honest, it gave me, perhaps the most insight into myself (Black, blue-collar upbringing, white private school/ivy league educated).
The book is also, I think, a must-read for White people who have or want Black friends. The author explains so well the constant "dance" we find ourselves in as we try to pretend racism is getting better and that we should just all get along.
It's a very quick read (a few hours at most) and it's beautifully written, from a visual perspective.


This memoir is fundamentally well-written and I have read several memoirs recently where I was so taken with the story but not so much with the writing quality or style. This is different. Taking apart different memories, different times and places in one's life is simply not possible to do in a clean chronological line, I am convinced. Lythcott-Haims doesn't try to do that - she creates snapshots, vignettes, prose poems, and pieces them together in an artful way. You don't get lost, if you aren't supposed to be on a chronological path anyway. That said, it is generally chronological, and she doesn't talk about the details of being Freshman Dean at Stanford before she talks about the details of being a middle-school kid. But the short glimpses forward and back are done well, and poetically, and by the end we have a deep understanding of how the author has come to be herself, we feel like we've followed her journey closely, not simply read the summary at the end.
Memoir allows us to see how one individual's experience gives us insight into cultural, economic, and political realities as vast as a whole continent. The message and the perspective are what we crave in memoir. In Real American the understanding of what it means to have a white mother and a black father at the close of the twentieth century is the personal experience. The white side of the author's family is not nearly as detailed in the book as the black side, but that makes sense: the book is about the American experience, not the British experience where her white relatives live. If she had been raised in Britain she would have had an entirely different experience around race to begin with. No, the focus is on finding a black identity in a deeply racist country. She keeps it personal, largely. It's about her own family, their own hang-ups, and how she absorbs the outside world growing up. Later, she writes about becoming more aware of her own role in that outside world, the adult world, the political world, and what her very existence means, not only to herself but to others.
She becomes a mother. She marries. Lythcott-Haims is economically and socially privileged in many ways. She writes a fantastic book, How to Raise an Adult, which I also highly encourage all educators and parents to read, and her trajectory puts her more and more directly in a cultural spotlight through book tours and interviews. She tells us, in a deeply personal, vulnerable, scary way, how she feels about all these things. She wraps us in her experience. She gets angry, she self-loathes, she feels black, she feels too white and not white enough, she feels shunned by both sides at different times. And then she figures it out for herself.
Since I am white, and I will admit I have few interactions with African Americans, it is important for me to be let in to that experience through these pages. So very, very important. I was not given a window via my public school education, nor my liberal arts college education, nor my European graduate degree, nor my social circle or personal reading habits. I had to be intentional, and go seek out African and African American literature over the past year. That in itself says something. We are not exposed to this in our "everyday white lives", people. Seek it out. Try to understand. Read this damn book.