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Livres de Penelope Bloom
Calm down, perv. My mailbox.
As soon as I saw what was inside,
I knew two things:
It belonged to my hot neighbor, and he had a dirty secret.
Normally, I was more of a cat person. As in, if I had to choose who lives, I’m going to take the cat nine times out of ten. It’s not that I particularly like cats, I just don’t particularly like most people.
My neighbor wasn’t most people. He lived in the apartment across the hall, and he was your typical, buttoned-up, fancy shoes, smells like a Calvin Klein commercial, looks like he actually flosses kind of guy. I mean, seriously? Wasn’t flossing just made up by dentists so they could go on their little power trips once every six months?
The point was, this guy very obviously had his life all put together. He was Mr. Perfect, and If you asked me, he needed to be brought down a few pegs to wallow with the rest of us.
Cue his long, thick, package penetrating my tight little mailbox.
I know. It’s absolutely sick. It was such an obvious ploy to hit on me. Forget the fact that the mail lady put it there, my neighbor and I both knew what kind of game he was playing. Oh yeah, we totally knew. It was on. It was in, if you would.
I accidentally dropped a knife on the package a few times back in my apartment. It basically sprang open on its own, and I had no choice but to look inside.
His dirty little secret was staring me right in the face. As it turned out, Mr. Perfect wasn’t so perfect. Who knew?
Hint: I knew. And I was absolutely going to enjoy every second of what was coming.
There are a few things you absolutely don’t do in Adrian Terranova’s world.
You don’t question him. You don’t challenge him. You don’t call him by his first name.
You definitely don’t contradict him in front of his entire staff.
Unless you’re me, apparently.
I’d love to say I stood up to the bosshole from hell and walked away unscathed,
but that’d be a lie.
First he got me fired from the job I couldn’t afford to lose. Then he made sure the only position in the city I could get was working as his personal assistant.
He runs his office with iron buns and icy glares. Every day is cloudy with a chance of grumpy. Every moment is a test he expects me to fail, but I’ll happily disappoint him.
They say he’s impossible to please? That he never smiles? Well, I don’t run from challenges. I run into them. And then I make them attend office glitter parties with hot dogs.
Adrian: I won’t break her, but she’s absolutely going to bend. Over my desk, I think. Or maybe the couch in reception?
USA Today bestselling author Penelope Bloom brings a brand new enemies-to-lovers romance where two total opposites fight to deny their perfect chemistry.
Sebastian St. James needed an ego check in the worst way.
So I gave him the tongue lashing to end all tongue lashings.
But he liked it.
Before I knew it, my dress was up to my ears.
He apparently had a tongue lashing of his own to give.
Mission gloriously failed, if you asked me.
We both agreed to part ways like adults. No strings, no attachments.
Except I couldn’t stand that he’d been able to walk away so easily.
So I handled my disappointment like the totally reasonable woman I am.
I attended one of his book signings and threw coffee in his face.
Then I face-planted over a fence trying to outrun his security.
Before I knew it, I was recovering in Sebastian’s mansion.
Then he offered me a job watching his cat and staying in his house.
I wish I could say I stared into his dreamy eyes and told him to bite me.
But I needed the job more than I wanted to admit.
So now I’m bunked with an obnoxiously attractive roommate.
A roommate I somehow want to strangle and straddle at the same time.
But there's nothing to worry about.
He "doesn't do relationships."
Nope. All he does is brood, glower, and boss me around.
But just like everything else in my life, it gets messier.
Who's the father, you ask? I'll give you a hint.
The baby's probably going to come out with cute little horns and a pitchfork.
A full-length enemies-to-lovers, secret baby romance loaded with laugh-out-loud moments, unapologetic wit, and a lovable heroine who would look the devil in the eyes and make him say "please". Will she drag the jaded millionaire kicking and grumbling to his happily ever after?
The third novel in USA Today bestselling author Penelope Bloom’s Anyone But… series sizzles with a sexy and hilarious story about letting go of the past to chase the love of a lifetime.
Seven years ago, I swore I’d never date Nick King. Ever.
Now I’m supposed to work under him—and no, despite the way he glares like he wants to strip me bare, I mean he’ll be my boss. But what better way to prove I’m really over him, right?
I was a nerdy overachiever in high school, and Nick was my hopeless crush. I even laminated a note he passed to me; granted, I had a thing for laminators, but that’s beside the point.
Now, my only shot at getting my life back on track is to crawl to him on my knees and pray I nail the interview. Maybe I should pray that’s the only thing that gets nailed in his office—especially since he looks like he wants to devour me.
Nick broke my heart once. But hey, I’m still pretty handy with a laminator. Maybe I could run my heart through one before I take this job.
The second novel in USA Today bestselling author Penelope Bloom’s Anyone But… series turns up the heat and hilarity with a story about second chances and promises worth breaking.
After Cade King cost me everything, I vowed I’d never fall for him again—even if he became rich and megafamous.
Now he’s back, and he’s still the embodiment of a big, shiny red button. Everybody knows you shouldn’t touch red buttons, but it’s so, so hard to resist.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it a little when I arrested him for disorderly conduct. Unfortunately, I think Cade liked it a little too. So when he asks for my help raising the son he just found out about, I know exactly what to say: “No, you stupidly sexy red button. I won’t touch you, even to help a cute little kid.” You’re damn right that’s what I said. Mostly.
Still, Cade doesn’t know the first thing about commitment. He lives completely in the moment. I’d need to have a recurring case of amnesia to believe he could change, even for his son. Or me.
From USA Today bestselling author Penelope Bloom comes the first novel in the romantic, sexy, and hilarious Anyone But… series.
Seven years ago, my best friends and I made a promise: No matter what, we would never date one of the King brothers. Even if they grew up to become megafamous, gorgeous, heart-stopping billionaires. Even if they crawled on their knees and begged for forgiveness.
But guess who just flew back into our lives in a private jet? And guess who just showed up to my job on my first day? Richard. King. Fortunately, it takes two seconds for Richard to reveal he hasn’t changed. Conceited. Cocky. Rude. Unfortunately, he’s also the kind of gorgeous that’s borderline offensive—with a jawline to make statues self-conscious and a grin that short-circuits my brain.
He’s spent years taking what he wants. I doubt he’s hungry for anything else—except me, apparently. There’s no way I’ll let him maneuver his way back into my life. My friends would never forgive me. I would never forgive me. But did I mention his jawline?
That is, until I move next door to Parker High’s most eligible bastard, Tristan Blackwood.
He’s gorgeous. Eyes as cold as moonlight. Lips made for cruel kisses. The entire town knows it, too. Apparently being able to throw a football elevates you to god status around here.
He could have anything he wanted. Anyone.
But somehow, all he wanted was to torment me.
Me, trapped in my mom’s protective bubble: homeschooled and invisible, stuck in a wheelchair and saddled with more medical issues than I could count. Normal? I might as well wish to be a fairytale princess.
There aren’t any princesses or knights in my fairytale. Just the dark prince who lives next door. Parker High royalty in the flesh. My very own devil in a letterman jacket.
His life should be a dream, but the only thing he cares about is becoming my nightmare.
And when my pride isn’t enough for him, he decides he wants my body.
He wants my heart.
He wants every last inch of me to himself.
The hapless woman who accidentally released me.
The one who nearly got herself killed mere hours later.
So I saved her, but my help came with a price.
The only way to save her life was to bond her–to link us so powerfully we’d have to spend every waking hour together for the next few weeks.
I was ready for the bond, but I wasn’t ready for her.
Her impossible to crush perky outlook. Her big eyes that never seem to dim, no matter how far into my blackened soul they saw.
I thought I’d lost the ability to care centuries ago, but it appears I was wrong.
The insufferable woman won’t rest until she’s forced me to do the unthinkable. To… enjoy her company.
It’s ridiculous, but all I need to do is outlast the bond.
To outlast my growing fear that I’m not as numb as I thought.
I’m in danger of feeling something for this human that I can’t afford to feel. Because the only thing more dangerous for her than my enemies is if I can’t let her go.
Author’s Note: Get sucked into this high stakes, fang-fest of paranormal, romantic comedy fun with an out-of-his-element vampire grump and the upbeat woman who refuses to let things go according to plan.
Something is very wrong with my downstairs neighbor.
For starters? She appears completely immune to my charms.
It's odd... Downright suspicious.
But beneath those frowns and pantsuits, I know she feels the connection, too.
Why else would she keep filing noise complaints against me?
It’s like a cry for help. A demand for me to show up at her door…
One look in her barren apartment and I know her job is her life.
The last male to see her bedroom probably had a tail and whiskers.
I can see she needs my skills. Badly.
I happen to have a talent for people — fixing them, persuading them...
Except my past rears its ugly head at the worst time.
Instead of dating my neighbor, now I’m roped into working with her.
But what’s more romantic than a forbidden office fling?
I’ll find a way to solve my secret little issue and make time for my new office mate.
On the clock, off the clock, on her desk, on my desk…
But first, she needs to agree to go on a date with me.
I think her exact words were “absolutely no way.”
No way? There’s always a way.
There's blackmail, bribery, buckets of charm… Maybe all three?
All I ever wanted was the perfect happily ever after.
All he ever wanted was to ruin my freaking life.
Okay, that’s a smidge dramatic, but hear me out.
My new neighbor might as well plant an “unavailable” sign in his front yard.
He’s got biceps made for pulling swooning maidens out of danger, eyes built for melting glaciers (and panties), and a smile that makes my knees want to buckle.
But he’s grumpy, stubborn, divorced with two kids, and he’s only in town for three months.
It’s pretty obvious I need to stay far, far away.
But then he kisses me.
First, I see stars. Then I see babies with steely blue eyes and chiseled jawlines.
I see white-picket fences and just maybe that happily ever after I always dreamed of.
He says the best he can do is three months of casual fun.
No feelings. No attachments. Then he’ll move on, and so should I.
Remember the part about him ruining my life? Yeah, I didn’t even get to it yet.
That all started with a bet.
She’s just temporary. A momentary blip in my life.
Although I have to admit she’s quite attractive, as far as blips go.
She’s also the first person my son has ever actually liked, which has to count for something.
New plan: I will not… let myself get too attached to the nanny.
I’ve always been the kind of man to keep my plans flexible.
Adaptation is key. Just like I’ve had to adapt to having a beautiful woman waiting for me when I get home every night.
Temporarily, of course. My son deserves better than temporary.
And I won’t dangle the prospect of a happy, complete family in front of him when I know the relationship wouldn’t last.
Because beneath the innocent, big doe eyes and the charming awkwardness, the nanny would turn out like the rest.
She’d find some reason to leave. They all did.
So I’ll make one final amendment to the plan. Yes, I may think inappropriate thoughts about the nanny.
I may get attached to the nanny. But I will not fall for the nanny.
And if I do, I will deny it until my cold, dead heart freezes over.
Author’s Note: Get out your safety goggles because this fiery nanny and swoon-worthy single dad are about to collide and the reaction is going to be explosive.
No strings. No attachments. Get in, get out—euphemism intended.
The lesser known second rule?
Make sure your casual hookup isn’t about to become your wedding planner.
Yeah. Long story.
The wedding was going to be a fake. The only catch was nobody could know. Not even my wedding planner.
Now the wedding planner thinks I’m the world’s biggest bastard. She thinks I’m in love with the woman I’m supposed to marry. She thinks a lot of things, but she doesn’t know the truth.
She’s got no idea she’s going to fall for me by the time this thing is over.
She’s got no idea our little hookup wasn’t meaningless. Not to me, at least.
And worst? She thinks she’s safe around me. She thinks I’m off the market, that there can’t be a repeat because there’s someone else.
There’s nobody else. Just her. And ever since the first taste, I knew she was all there’d ever be.
Author’s Note: Don’t run away from the ultimate playboy. He’s ready to fake marry you so hard . She’s sweet and sassy, he’s over the top in everything. They’re a match made in fake marriage history.