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dreaming of the sun

Middle Class Self-Indulgent Mommies

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 3 septembre 2013

Achat vérifié

Each of us bring to the books we read our own perspectives or backgrounds. For me I bring to the books I read a background of being a working class kid who grew up and was lucky enough to get a first-class education and obtain a handful of degrees. But I also bring with me a feminist heart and a researchers mind AND I'm married to a Frenchman.
I tell you this because I expected that I would love this book.
I didn't.
This book disturbed me on so many levels. I finished it but it was hard going because it was just a bunch of self-indulgent women complaining about their lives and refusing to do anything about it. The women who had chances, women who had husbands who were willing to help out with childcare, who had husbands who were willing to stay home, didn't let their husbands because they "could do it better".
My French husband heard a saying on an American show awhile back that he loves. I kept thinking of it while reading this book-"First world problems."
That's exactly what this book is.
This book talks about middle and upper middle class women (and a few working class women) who are working on achieving "the dream" of having it all and finding that they can't.
What about the millions of American working class women who don't have a choice? What about them? I know many who "have it all" because they have no choice. They have to work full-time while raising kids because their income is all they have. What about the working class women (many I have personally met over the years at Universities across America) who work full-time, raise kids AND go to school so that they can better their lives and that of their children?
This book is a self-indulgent rant by middle class women of how they want to be strong and in-control but then when they get the career that they want they suddenly think it's too hard and they just want to stay home and raise their kids.
The women in the book want equality (or so they say because I don't believe them) but they HAVE to marry men who make more money than they do and then they throw away careers to stay home.
Coming from my family background with a mother who worked full-time and took care of me (all by herself), while I went to daycare and school, a mother who worked overtime every single Saturday of my childhood because we needed the money these women are a disgrace to the women's movement and women everywhere.
I have traveled to a lot of countries in my studies and work, I have met with and worked with women from every walk of life, their struggles and what they do everyday without complaint or without asking for pity is amazing. They are the ones that books should be written about, not these selfish mommies.

We need to get rid of the perfect mom role (the honestly equal women in this world don't care about being a perfect mother, they just want to raise happy kids)and we need to get rid of all of these "rules" and let go and live our lives.
No one can tell you what you can or cannot have.
At the end of it all it seemed that these women wanted was more and more money. They had to have the high-powered careers because that was the only marker of a successful life-money. They had to have husbands who had the same kind of jobs, who made more money.
You are the one who lets others expectations control you. Stop listening and in the end you'll be happy.

7 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Renaaah

How do women balance their lives? THEY DON'T!

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 13 octobre 2000

Achat vérifié

I have lent my copy of this book to 4 friends already, and even bought my former roommate a <Flux> of her own. What I liked most was that the author didn't try to make this book all things to everything: she only interviewed women who she considers "Pace Setters:" university educated and white-collar . Each woman has a distinct story, unique goals and hurdles. But similar themes are heard time and time again. "How do I balance it all?" "Do I really need to be like men to succeed in the professional world?" "Do I have to be a mother/wife/hot-shot at work in order to have a full and pleasant life?"
As an author, Orenstein gives us few of her own answers, and generously lets her subjects speak for themselves. And by eloquantly telling us their own tales, they reveal to readers that there is no way to acheive a perfect balance. We are all just struggling to do the best we can.

7 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Vermont summer

How has the world changed for women?

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 28 avril 2014

Achat vérifié

This was a required read for my 50th reunion at Mt Holyoke College and we will be discussing it when I attend the reunion. It presents the various problems today's women encounter as they negotiate today's world. Do they marry early or late? When do they have children-if at all? How do husbands fit into the picture? How does one balance motherhood and career? Is a stay at home life the best option? The book presents the research of the author as she interviews women in the modern world. Various women's lives and reflections on those lives are presented. It was not an exciting read but interesting. Since the days Betty Friedan spoke on our campus, women's options in life have changed a great deal. Since my class is in our retirement years and was on the cusp of this new age when at college, I am wondering how these options affected my classmates.

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LMB1

Not bad

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 10 mars 2004

Achat vérifié

Normally I don't like feminaz-type books, but a friend thought I might enjoy this one. I have to say it was a good effort and I found many of my own thoughts being echoed by many of the women. My only criticism is that it focused (perhaps inadvertently) on women of high socioeconomic class. Almost all were college educated and in high-paying positions. The dilemas of marriage and motherhood may seem magnified in this group of women, however it is not exclusive to them (I, myself am one). I am also African-American, however and would have liked to see more women from different ethnic backgrounds (many of of which are also college-educated, etc).

5 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Danielle Corbett

Depressing!

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 7 mars 2013

Achat vérifié

I was really excited about this book as I loved Peggy Orenstein's Cinderella Ate My Daughter, perhaps because I am a kindergarten teacher and teaching very young girls, I could constantly relate to Orenstein's studies on girls today. However, this book was not what I expected. It is really only relevant for American women. I am not American but have lived in seven countries including America. The experiences of the women in the book are not easy to relate to for me. Also, I felt it was a negative book and seemed to indicate that women are obsessed with men and/or career and little else. It was a great idea for a book but for me, brought little inspiration.Where is the Girl Power??

2 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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E. Eaton

Changed my life!

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 25 janvier 2011

Achat vérifié

I read this book in graduate school (2006-ish), in my mid-twenties, and it absolutely CHANGED my life. This book is a well-written collection of interviews from women in various age groups with varying experiences. It was so refreshing to read stories that made you say "Hey, I'm not the only one that feels that way!" Flux does an excellent job of putting into words what being a woman is REALLY like in the half-changed world we live in. I have purchased this book and recommended it to many friends. If you're a woman - read this.

3 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Shopaholic

Great read for any woman 18-50!

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 29 décembre 2012

Achat vérifié

At least now I know I'm not the only one who battles with these decisions. Sometimes we don't like to talk about the difficult subjects. Have kids, yes or no? stay at home? work? bread winner? etc

Une personne a trouvé cela utile

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xxx

Three Stars

Commenté au Royaume-Uni 🇬🇧 le 16 septembre 2014

Achat vérifié

not the book written for me

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Samantha K

Interesting read

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 26 janvier 2013

Achat vérifié

As a new mom and professional engineer, I thought this was very interesting. Even though it was written several years ago, it is still relevant.

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Five Stars

Commenté aux États-Unis 🇺🇸 le 14 août 2017

Achat vérifié

Great book!

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5 étoiles		61%
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